So I'll admit I watched the Royal Wedding today. I did not wake up at 4am or DVR it, but I watched a replay on CNN.com. I only did it for research purposes in writing this blog. No, who am I kidding, I did it because like every girl I secretly, deep down inside, want to be a princess. I want to know that I can grow up plain and regular and then one day a handsome prince will come into my life and think I'm special and want to sweep me off my feet and carry me away into my fairy tale happily ever after on his white horse. Why did you watch it? You know you did, don't lie. Even if you didn't watch all two and a half hours, you know you watched a few highlights.
I've heard a lot of grumblings about this particular wedding. I know there are cynics out there that hate weddings in general, and I guess that's understandable, as I hated weddings once too. Having your heart ripped out, stomped on, spit on, chewed up, thrown up, put in a blender and made in to a shake for the neighbor's dog to drink and poop out will do that to you. But why do these people want to hate just this one wedding? I've heard several reasons. Some have said they are just sick of hearing about it and just want it to be over. Fair point. I bring you back to my discussion about watching the news though. Stop watching the news if you don't like what you see. Problem solved. Some have said that they don't want to watch it because they don't care about the Royals. Well that's fine. You're entitled to not care about them. They certainly don't care about you either. Just don't be mad if there's another World War and you expect them to have our back. They're gonna say (in their accent), "Oh, you didn't want to watch our golden boy get married to his princess? Well then we don't give a crap if you get bombed you unruly bunch of miscreants"! I don't know if they'd be that serious, but what if they were? Then there are others who have argued that the reason they don't want to watch or even hear about this wedding is because it's going on in another country and we should all be focused on what's going on over here instead of being so worried about what's going on over there. Woah. I'm gonna need to start a new paragraph for that one.
Now, let me get this straight. You're telling me that you don't think anyone should give a wedding in England the time of day, even if it does happen to be 4am, just because it's happening on the other side of the world and we should all be focused on what's happening in our country instead. Well that sounds great except for the fact that we have half our population concerned with world affairs other than our own, and not good ones I might add, far exceeding that of a Royal Wedding. After I watched the wedding, I scrolled through my Facebook updates and came across numerous friends' statuses that were saying things like the above, and it got me thinking about this more in depth. It made me wonder why it is that we are so concerned with this foreign wedding when we do have things going on here that we could be focusing our time on. Or why there are millions of people who woke up early or put together watch parties for this event, that couldn't care less about other National events such as the elections or the Olympics for example. I started to form some thoughts that directed me back to the reason I actually watched it on my laptop, sitting at my dining room table, while eating my Cuban bread and drinking my morning cup of tea.
People watch this because it gives them hope. It gives them hope that the world is not completely gone to shit. When all there is on the news is violence and war and bombings and death, people are refreshed to see a Royal face smiling happily back at them, in love. England is still a fairy tale land in some people's minds. They have Kings and Queens and Princes and Princesses. People dress up in their finest fancy hats to attend the wedding of the century where the plain, common girl marries the Prince and they ride off in daddy's blue Astin Martin. People watch because it shows that romance and love and faith in humanity still exist in mankind. An entire country shut down to wish it's Royal family well today, knowing that they would be ok and that all would be well without having to worry about their government being shutdown that day. They lined the streets for miles and miles just to catch a glimpse of the future Princess in her stunning humility. They dressed themselves head to toe in their patriotic colors, flags and banners and stood outside for hours showing their support for the Future King and Queen, who many wouldn't even be alive to see their coronation. What a sight. That's why people watched.
Now am I saying that's the only reason they watched? Heck no! You know I watched so that I could dog some of those chicks that looked completely ridiculous in their whacko hats and dresses that looked like they could have come straight off a Martian. Then there were some of those other "ladies" that looked like they needed a refund from Aunt Mable's School for Etiquette because a) they couldn't figure out how to get out of the back seat of that car without letting all of London and all of France see straight up their underpants, b) their makeup application could have been toned down just a touch, as this wasn't auditions for the next Ms. Tranny America, and c) if you're gonna wear those Christian Louboutins honey, you better know how to walk in them or else you just look like you have a stick up your butt.
Now let's have a little fun and I'll go over some of the highlights for the sticks in the mud who didn't feel like watching ;)
This is Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall (she's married to Prince Charles just in case you weren't aware. Prince Charles is the late Princess Diana's widower). She almost dropped a kid over the railing of the balcony at Buckingam Palace when the Royal couple was giving their final kiss. Nicely done moron. Last I heard both Princess Diana and Michael Jackson were both deceased so no need to try and fill either one of their shoes. Nice hat, not.
Here's a little show of just a few (yes, just a few) of the top most obnoxious hats of the day, you'll notice Victoria Beckham made the list:
And lastly, I'm going to call out my all time funniest, stupidest hat award of the day, and it goes to...Princess Beatrice of York. WTF was she thinking!!!
Enjoy your day everyone, and remember, there's nothing a fancy hat and a positive attitude can't fix. So turn that frown upside down and ask a neighbor if you can watch the Royal Wedding they most certainly DVR'd, because now you know you really want to, don't you!
I tried to avoid watching this at all costs and I thought I was safe watching ESPN until they started talking about! Its just too big of an event :(
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